Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
