he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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