did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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