the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
