What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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