whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
