My friends, they love my intelligence
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
