If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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