You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
