Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
