dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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