So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
