She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
