i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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