I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
