I wanna passion pit in your ass
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
