i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
