epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize