he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
