Ambien. No doubt about it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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