I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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