she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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