I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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