Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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