It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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