its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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