I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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