this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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