So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You are the jesus of drinking
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
