You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I need a beard to bite.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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