I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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