Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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