halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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