it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
