And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
