i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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