Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
