we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
