Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize