I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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