I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
