It's like a parade of train wrecks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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