We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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