Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
