Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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