i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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