How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
