She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
