are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
