dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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