My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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