She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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