Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
