Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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