Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize