She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
