Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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