She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
