I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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