you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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