He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
