He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
