I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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