Quick, to the slutcave!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
