hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
