well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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