under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
