Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you inspire me to be a worse person
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
